From Youth Worker to Programmer: Lessons I Learned From Working with Difficult Poeple

The Unexpected Career Pivot

When I tell people I used to be a youth worker before becoming a programmer, I often get raised eyebrows. "That's quite a change," they usually say, followed by "what made you switch careers?". It's a challenging question to answer, so that'll be a story for another day. But the transition taught me something surprising: dealing with troubled teenagers prepared me incredibly well for navigating the complex dynamics of software development teams.

As a youth worker, I spent my days managing crisis situations, mediating conflicts, and trying to build trust with kids who had every reason not to trust adults. I learned to stay calm when emotions ran high and to look past difficult behavior to understand what was really going on. I learned to carefully choose my words in high-stress situations. I discovered that difficult behavior ultimately boils down to a cry for help.

This background built a kind of resilience that has proven invaluable in tech, particularly during high-pressure situations like interviews and technical disagreements. When you've spent years managing crisis situations with teenagers – some experiencing severe trauma or mental health challenges – suddenly technical interviews take on a different perspective. The pressure of navigating fast-changing requirements or unexpected interview curveballs feels manageable compared to de-escalating a youth in crisis.

The impact of this experience goes beyond just handling pressure. In youth work, progress isn't linear – you learn to celebrate small wins and bounce back from setbacks. This mindset has been crucial in tech, where failed deployments, bugs in production, and rejected ideas are part of the journey. I've learned to view these challenges as opportunities for growth.

This kind of emotional resilience isn't just about "toughing it out." It's about maintaining perspective, staying focused under pressure, and knowing that most challenges, while significant, aren't insurmountable. After all, when you've helped a teenager through a mental health crisis at 2 AM, debugging a stubborn code issue or handling a heated technical disagreement feels much more manageable in comparison. The skills transfer isn't always obvious, but it's remarkably powerful.

The Power of Patience

I've learned the value of taking a step back and approaching challenges methodically. In youth work, rushing to conclusions or quick fixes rarely helped. This same patience serves me well in tech, especially when debugging complex issues or learning new technologies. When faced with a particularly stubborn bug, I find myself using the same measured approach I used with troubled teens: observe, understand, then act.

Building Daily Resilience

The emotional stamina I built in youth work translates surprisingly well to tech's daily challenges. Technical interviews, which many find intensely stressful, feel more manageable after years of handling crisis situations. More importantly, this resilience helps with the everyday pressures of development work - tight deadlines, complex problems, and the constant need to learn new skills.

To be honest, certain things just don't bother me any more. For example, I don't worry about deadlines because I haven't missed one in years. Prioritizing was extremely important as a youth worker, and if you didn't prioritize correctly, this would negatively affect the kids you worked with. So, it starts to come more naturally, and it turns into something you stop worrying about. This has allowed me to focus on other things, like optimizing code while still reaching deadlines without any issues.

Managing Stress Through Perspective

Maybe the most valuable lesson from youth work is the importance of maintaining perspective. When you've helped teenagers through genuine life crises, a failed deployment or a bug in production doesn't seem quite so catastrophic. This doesn't minimize tech's challenges, but it helps maintain a balanced view of their true impact.

Failed deployments and bugs in production are still stressful, but managing this stress comes much more naturally. This has allowed me to quickly fix these things while staying composed and not worrying about "failing", since these problems are always solvable.

The Value of Incremental Progress

In youth work, progress isn't linear – you learn to celebrate small wins and understand that setbacks are part of growth. This mindset is incredibly valuable in tech, where problems are often complex and solutions evolve over time. The ability to appreciate incremental progress keeps me motivated.

Creating Sustainable Work Habits

Working with troubled youth taught me the importance of sustainable practices. Just as youth workers need to manage their energy to avoid burnout, developers need to pace themselves for the long road ahead. I've learned to recognize when I need a break from a challenging problem, when to ask for help, and how to maintain focus without burning out.

Burnout happens to everyone, and being mindful of your own feelings gives you the opportunity to address the issue before it gets to the "point of no return".

Emotional Intelligence in Tech

While technical skills are crucial, the emotional intelligence I developed in youth work has proven equally valuable. Understanding my own stress triggers, managing my reactions to pressure, and maintaining composure during intense debugging sessions all draw from skills I developed working with youth.

And of course, a strong developer needs to work with others. When your work directly involves other's emotions, you develop strong insight into the behaviour of others. I find myself noticing more easily when my teammates need help, how to mentor effectively, and how to effectively contribute in team meetings and provide clear, effective insights and suggestions.

Professional Growth Through Patience

As I've advanced in my tech career, these soft skills have become increasingly valuable. Technical challenges grow more complex, but the patience and resilience I developed in youth work help me approach them methodically and maintain a growth mindset. Teamwork becomes more natural, and I find myself communicating more effectively and clearly. Mentorship and leadership becomes more natural, and I'm more confident when teaching others.

To master soft skills, they need to be practiced and refined just like hard skills. I hope to inspire other developers to reflect on their own soft skills and always look for opportunities to improve, since this is equally, if not more important than technical skills.